Devastated.

6 months of training and a $300 race fee may now be down the drain, after I slipped getting out of the pool yesterday. It had been one of those mornings, where I hadn't given myself quite enough time to get ready. When the alarm went off at 6:15 am my bed felt just to comfortable and I was extra slow to get up. Because of that I had to rush out of the door. I got to the university by 7:15 and had 15 minutes to get across campus to the pool in order to have enough time to get my workout in and get to class. Of course, the university is going through major construction and it took me half an hour of walking outside in the rain, almost getting hit by a car, before I got to the pool. Feeling rushed I almost decided skip the workout and do it after work that night. But, I figured if I swam a little bit faster I would get the full 2500 meters in, I mean I had 45 minutes right. I quickly changed and jumped right into my 1000 meter set. I swam hard, and only made 2200 meters before the time ran out. Feeling pretty exhausted I tried to pull myself out of the pool, only to slip and bash my foot on the side of the pool on the way back into the water. It hurt, I swore, and I hobbled back to the change room. Little did I know that the pain I felt was only going to multiply exponentially throughout the day.

From the time I got up in the morning I was rushing through my day. I made it to class a couple of minutes late, then had to leave early to rush to work. By the time I got to work my foot really hurt to stand on, but I didn't have time to think much about it. I popped some Advil and worked my shift till 4. At which point I had to rush back to the university to meet Ben and get some homework done. Walking from the car to the school every step started hurting more and more, but I had convinced myself I was fine. I had to be fine, I mean how can you hurt yourself getting out of a pool. And my race was only 25 days away, I was fine. I had to be.

I finally got to the library, met Ben, ate dinner, and started on my last essay of my university career. As I sat there my foot started throbbing and aching more and more. I thought maybe it was just the Advil waring off. When we decided to leave the university, we started walking back to the car and every step turned into an enormous task. The shooting pain eventually became unbearable and I broke down crying hysterically scared and sore in the middle of the university campus.
Scared because my foot couldn't be injured with my race so close. But with the amount of pain that I was feeling I knew something was wrong.

We drove to Strathmore to go to the hospital to avoid the lines. Got an x-ray and the doctor didn't find any major breaks. Since I couldn't walk and was in alot of pain at this point he gave me some crutches and tylonal 3s and sent me on my way. I was beside myself. I didn't understand why he didn't examine my foot and figure out what was hurting so much. I was inconsolable, but Ben did what he could to calm me down. Last night was rough, my foot hurt despite the tylonal 3s and I didn't sleep more than 3 hours. I decided that I had to see someone else and figure out what was wrong. I have had alot of injuries in my lifetime, and I know the difference between a bruise and when something is serious. I was scared that if I didn't see anyone it would heal badly since it wasn't immobilized and I would forever have trouble with my foot. I was petrified because I was unable to walk with 3 weeks to my race and I needed to know if whatever was wrong was going to be feeling better in time. I found the calgary foot clinic and got into see a podiatrist this morning. Good thing I did. He thinks I have a Cuboid Fracture that wouldn't turn up on a x-ray. So I have to go get a bone scan done. Hopefully it's not that because that takes around 6 weeks to heal. If it's not that with the amount of swelling and pain he said I could have torn some ligaments in my foot when it hyperextended. Even so, I would still be on crutches in a walking cast for 3 weeks. So, he crushed the plan of the Oosoyos Half Ironman. He put me into a walking cast with crutches, booked a bone scan, and an appointment to see him in 2 weeks. I go back the day before we're supposed to be moving, and the day that I have my last final exam. Talk about stress.

I have been trying to deal with the fact that I am going to be unable to do the desert half ironman all day. It has been the focus of all those long painful training sessions and early mornings for so long, and I am feeling quite lost. On top of that, Ben and I are moving in 2 weeks. It is going to be quite the task trying to pack while on crutches. But that is life. No matter how much I wish I could turn back to 7:15 yesterday morning, and instead of rushing my swim waiting until I had more time in the eventing.. i can't. I have to deal with yet another injury. I have to focus on healing this thing properly and training for the ironman next year, and maybe a couple of races later in the season. My hockey coach from NSA in highschool always used to tell me that the only thing that will limit my ability is my injuries... and yet here is more proof of that statement. Frustration is an understatement to what I am feeling right now. But I know there are alot of people that are going through this. I remember when Linda hurt her back and was unable to do the half marathon she was training for earlier this year. Injuries are just a part of the life of an athlete I guess.

Anyways, sorry if this post is so melancholy. Like my dad says, don't sweat the small stuff. The foot will heal, and there will be more races. Until then I'll have more time to study and pack since I won't be training or doing many adventures for the next little bit.